It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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