dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
me + whiskey = a bad person
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
