I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
