i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
