Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
