I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
