Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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