They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
