What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
