Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
He better not be in your backpack
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
