All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Randomize