If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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