apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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