Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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