TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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