Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
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