No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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