He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
