So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
