We named our party play list daddy issues
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
