thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
