I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Randomize
