I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
