im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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