Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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