I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
The air was thick with penises
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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