Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
