somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
