So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
