I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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