I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
