and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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