just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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