so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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