she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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