There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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