He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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