ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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