you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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