I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
