Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
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