You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
My butt remains clenched, sir.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
