what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize