it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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