Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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