don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
