btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
that's an acceptable place to lick
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
