A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
