Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
