9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
