yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
