My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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