I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
