It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
