If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
