You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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