Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
