the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
