So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
