Your dad touched me again.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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