I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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