omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize