I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
