So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
