Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
