She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
jump out the window naked night went bad
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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