I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
