if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
