was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize
