Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
