Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
